Walk In My Shoes

Dear Someone,

Please don't judge me, unless:

1. You have experienced what I have
2. You have lived my sorrows
3. You have cried as many tears as me
4. You have walked a mile in my shoes
5. You have lived my life for at least a day

Until then, back off please, cause you have no idea what it's like to be in my situation.

Princess and Ultraman

A conversation with my daughter while we was watching S.W.A.T movie. She was sitting on my lap bermanja2 like a cat...

Mommy: Kak Hana, what do you want to be when you grow up? When you become a big girl like mommy?

Hana: -Quiet- (I guess she didn't understand my question).

Mommy: Do you want to be a police? Like that aunty ? (Pointing to Michelle Rodriguez as Chris Sanchez) You can shoot people.

Hana: No.

Mommy: How about a Doctor. Like Cik Ana. Like Mama Yaya. You can give ubat to mommy. You can do this (pretending to use stethoscope to listen to her heart).

Hana: No Mommy, no. Kak hana want to be a princess. Like this (doing this pique turns in ballet dancing). 

Mommy: Hahaha, ok kakhana.

Suddenly Amzar jumped onto my lap and said with his *sengau* voice:

Amzar: Mommy, Amzar ultraman. Ultraman tigaaaa (showing his fist)

Mommy: Hahaha, ok Amzar ok.


Honestly I don't know how my children got the idea, a girl has to become a princess while a boy will turn to ultraman when they grow up. Like my daughter, Hana, I never exposed her with any princess characters in movies/books/cartoons. I guess she found out by herself from the TV or perhaps Hi5 programme. Never see her watching any princess movies/cartoons though. Or maybe she is influenced by her favourite cousin? As for Amzar, he wasn't a big fan of Ultraman programme before. In fact he ran and hid in his room when bibik switched the programme to Ultraman. I don't know when exactly that he became so obsessed in Ultraman and everything now is about this character. Nak tshirt ultraman, nak kaler ultraman.. bla bla.. And same goes for Hana.. nak bag princess, nak watch princess, nak dress like princess.. Haiya!

On the other hand, I hope one day Hana and Amzar will become a Doctor (Medical) or Accountant. Why accountant? Because that was my ambition when I was in high school before Cik Awa took it from me. (Sobs) And medical Doctor (enough with 'I'm-Dr-Ross-Geller, I have PhD' thing), because I believe that is the most respectful profession in a way that this is the only job that actually saves human lives. I remember that my mother used to tell me the reason, why Doctors are better than Engineers. She said, let say if something terrible happened, perhaps a bridge had collapsed and hit a car. If you are a civil engineer, you can do nothing about it except for post analysis and investigation on why this tragedy occurred in the first place. However, if you are a Doctor, and you happen to be at the scene before the paramedic team arrives, you could actually help to save the victim's life. Another example that I noticed, if one of our family members is a Doctor, or perhaps one of our friends, we always ask them for free medical advice. People don't do that to Engineers because Engineers can only solve specific problems and not common problem that we encounter everyday.

Whatever it is, I hope my children can become "orang yang berguna untuk bangsa, agama dan negara'. No matter what profession they choose, I hope they'll make a wise decision and become someone that their parents can be proud of.

My princess with her favourite aunt..

My ultraman..

Ignorance Is Bliss

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Letter to Mrs Foote, Dec. 2, 1887

Sometimes not seeing things can be a blessing.

AUGUST STRINDBERG, The Dance of Death

Chinese Tsunami?

Interesting observation by bloggers OutSyedTheBox and DinTurtle on the so-called Chinese Tsunami during the last General Election in Malaysia.
Taken from the post "The Very Chinese Popular Vote" (of OutSyedTheBox) , it can be seen from the analysis that the popular vote won by the Pakatan came from the Parliamentary seats in Chinese majority areas.
Please read the following analysis by Tuan Syed with an open mind.

The Very Chinese "Popular Vote"

I have previously Blogged that the Pakatan has actually lost the majority vote in NINE States. 

Please see  : PAKATAN RAKYAT LOST POPULAR VOTE IN 9 STATES, LABUAN & PUTRAJAYA

The Pakatan only won the popular vote in four states ie Penang, Perak, Selangor and Kelantan.  

THE PAKATAN LOST THE POPULAR VOTE IN NINE STATES NAMELY :

1. PERLIS
2. KEDAH
3. NEGERI SEMBILAN
4. MELAKA
5. JOHOR
6. PAHANG
7. TERENGGANU
8. SABAH
9. SARAWAK
10. WP LABUAN & PUTRAJAYA

Blogger Din Turtle has done further analysis and has come out with something quite startling. Din Turtle has compiled the rankings of the Top 20 Highest Majority Parliamentary seats in the recent elections. You can see the table below.  Din has discovered that :

• 19 of the Top 20 highest majority seats were won by the Pakatan
• the DAP won 15 of these 19 Pakatan seats 
• 17 of these 20 highest majority seats are in Chinese majority areas
• 11 of these 20 highest majority seats have more than 70% Chinese voters 
• PAS has only ONE of these highest majority seats
• The biggest winner in the Pakatan is the Chinese dominated DAP 

Very very obviously this is NOT the popular vote at all.  How can the single block voting behaviour  of the Chinese who make up only  23% of the population be regarded as representing the popular vote of the country? 

And 17 of the Top 20 highest majority Parliamentary seats are in Chinese majority areas, including 11 of them that have over 70% Chinese voters.  The popular vote won by the Pakatan is clearly very Chinese.

P122 Seputeh -  51,552  DAP
Jumlah Undi: 71,859    
Pengundi: 85,976 Pecahan Kaum: M:5.62%   C:89.69%   I:4.54% L:0.15% 

P045 Bukit Mertajam -  43,063  DAP
Jumlah Undi: 69,590  
Pengundi: 78,996 Pecahan Kaum: M:18.07%   C:72.45%   I:9.23% L:0.25% 

P102 Serdang - 42,206    DAP
Jumlah Undi: 118,314  
Pengundi: 133,139 Pecahan Kaum: M:39.57% ,  C:48.63% ,  I:11.04% 

P051 Bukit Gelugor -  41,778  DAP

Jumlah Undi: 70,691 
Pengundi: 81,897  Pecahan Kaum: M:15.16%   C:74.25%   I:10.15% L:0.44% 

P106 Petaling Jaya Utara -  44,672    DAP
Jumlah Undi: 70,727  
Pengundi: 85,401 Pecahan Kaum: M:15.36%   C:76.71%   I:6.38% L:1.54% 

P114 Kepong -  40,307   DAP
Jumlah Undi: 58,585 
Pengundi: 68,035 Pecahan Kaum: M:4.28%   C:90.31%   I:14.3% L:5.31% 

P066 Batu Gajah - 38,596    DAP
Jumlah Undi: 70,347 
Pengundi: 87,587 Pecahan Kaum:  C:74%   I:15%   M:11% 

P123 Cheras -  37,409    DAP
Jumlah Undi: 59,404  
Pengundi: 72,551  Pecahan Kaum: M:9.56%   C:84.14%   I:6.16% L:0.14% 

P085 Pekan - 35,613   BN
Jumlah Undi: 68,218 
Pengundi: 80,260 Pecahan Kaum: M:88.86%   C:2.25%   I:0.91% L:7.98% 

P043 Bagan - 34,159    DAP
Jumlah Undi: 59,796  
Pengundi: 68,503 Pecahan Kaum: M:14.36%   C:70.34%   I:15.03% L:0.27% 

P064 Ipoh Timur - 34,000    DAP
Jumlah Undi: 65,217   
Pengundi: 81,818 Pecahan Kaum:   C:79%   M:14%  I:5% 

P103 Puchong - 32,802    DAP
Jumlah Undi: 94,367  
Pengundi: 107,010 Pecahan Kaum: M:39.36%   C:43.52%   I:15.91% L:0.57% 

P048 Bukit Bendera -  32,778   DAP
Jumlah Undi: 59,114  
Pengundi: 71,085 Pecahan Kaum: M:13.87%   C:73.79%   I:11.26% L:1.08% 

P111 Kota Raja - 29,395   PAS
Jumlah Undi: 92,563 
Pengundi: 105,909 Pecahan Kaum: M:47.7%   C:23.16%   I:28.27% L:0.79% 

P065 Ipoh Barat - 29,038   DAP
Jumlah Undi: 63,007 
Pengundi: 77,761 Pecahan Kaum:   C:62%   I:23% M:14% 

P104 Kelana Jaya - 28,827   PKR
Jumlah Undi: 86,571  
Pengundi: 101,236 Pecahan Kaum: M:37.94% ,  C:41.70% ,  I:18.58% , 

P049 Tanjong - 28,645   DAP
Jumlah Undi: 42,913  
Pengundi: 51,487  Pecahan Kaum: M:5.78%   C:85.26%   I:8.61% L:0.35% 

P100 Pandan - 26,729   PKR
Jumlah Undi: 73,074  
Pengundi: 83,857 Pecahan Kaum: M:44.36% ,  C:48.14% ,  I:6.60% 

P107 Subang - 26,719   PKR
Jumlah Undi: 112,995  
Pengundi: 128,543 Pecahan Kaum: M:49.95%   C:35.89%   I:13.54% L:0.61% 

P046 Batu Kawan -  25,962   DAP
Jumlah Undi: 50,209 Pecahan Kaum: M:20.4%   C:55.57%   I:23.66% L:0.37% 

Lately I feel very frustrated with my job. Honestly I have no idea how to manage my time efficiently. Works are piling up,  I do not know which one should I focused first. Research? Teaching? Admin works? And then comes my family. I wonder how some people (read: colleague) can manage to finish their works within the given time and at the same time they still have time to **** their boss's ***?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S, they never fails to cheer me up.. I miss my family. I miss my kampong. sobs..

2013 Resolutions

Ok,
Let's check one by one my 2012's resolutions, whether I have managed to achieve them or not.

1. To be a good mother to my daughter and my son (to teach Hana ABC and 123 so that she is able to read by 4 years old) (Partially achieved)
2. To be a good wife to my husband (Read: more caring, less bebel). (Achieved. I think so...)
3. To be a good daughter to my parents and a good sister to my siblings and in laws (Read: Positive thinking, more patient) (I'm not sure, have to ask them to verify)
4. To write at least 2 journal papers with impact factor more than 0.5. (sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit). (Achieved, although I wasn't the main author)
5. To own at least 2 copyrights by the end of 2012. (Not achieved)
6. To write at least 2 book chapters or non-indexed journal. (Not achieved)
7. To be a good supervisor to my students (frequent meetings, more knowledgeable). (Achieved, i think so. I met my students quite regular this year compared to 2011)
8. To own an MPV, without having to break the bank (Read: more saving, less shopping). (Achieved! I am now a proud owner of Exora Bold. I don't give a damn to what people said about me when I've transformed my BMW into local brand Exora. Who cares? As long as I am happy and my children are really happy with our current car)
9. To shop wisely and using brain (Read: saving, saving, saving). (Achieved. We managed to do more saving this year and used the money to decorate our house)
10. To send a paper to one of the IEEE International ComSoc Major conferences. (Still in review)

So basically I have achieved 5 out of 10 resolutions I've listed down last year. I am just going to carry forward the 5 resolutions that I couldn't achieve in 2012 or resolutions that I think are relevant forever. Apart from the existing resolutions, these are some other things that I wish to achieve in 2013:

Career-wise:

• Write a journal paper as main author
• At least one international conference and one local conference for this year
• Find a place for industrial training

Life:

• More and more saving for Umrah with husband
• Regular exercise, eat healthily => lose weight
• Hana can read basic English, Malay and Chinese, recognize numbers and can recite AlFatihah properly and several other surah.
• Amzar can recognize basic alphabets, can recite AlFatihah properly.
• Be a good muslimah, improve my relationship with Allah.

Let's pray that I can achieve my resolutions in 2013. Ameen.